Perky Nipples
by Beelsebutt
Summary: As crack as Castiel can be. Pre-SLASH Castiel/Dean, spoilers for S04E01 and for very bad humor!


**A/N:**

I just watched 'Lazarus Rising' like a tenth time or so, and in the end, when Dean asks Castiel for the reason of rescuing him, my mind was (again) exploding because of the words "HIS PERKY NIPPLES!". Yeah, like Dean said to the demon-waitress earlier on that episode, it must have been the reason ;)

The first paragraph of this story is written based on the idea that my friend, _Jossujb_, told me when I first started to watch the series: if Castiel can appear without any noise or interference, why did he make such a show when appearing for the first time? Well, Jossu thought it was because... oh, I guess you just have to read on ;) The rating is quite high because of the insinuation. There's really nothing to see here, but you are welcome to use your imagination :P

This story has NOT been beta-ed by anybody who speaks English as their first language, but thanks to _Jolandina _and _Voldemort _for their encouraging words (and laughter) :3

**Spoilers for S04E01. Also, be warned about very bad humor!**

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural series or its characters. I'm not making any money with this, so, don't sue! I mean no harm to anyone, just peace and love etc. Also, Misha Collins is my god.**

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_~.~.~_

**Perky Nipples**

_~.~.~_

The pull was stronger now, and because of its effect Castiel made a miscalculation. He landed, not in front of the barn but on top of it. The impact rattled the sheet metal of the roof, shaking the tattered building like an earthquake. Castiel was not unfamiliar with the effects of an earthquake; in fact, innumerous times the Angels had been using commotions of the Earth to make their voices heard. Sometimes, humans didn't respond well if they were not intimidated.

At the present time, this was not the case. The waves of nervousness and fear spread from inside the barn like rings in the water, and Castiel did not have to see the two humans to know how frightened they were. It took Castiel three thousands of a second to realize that he had to make an excuse for his misplaced landing. The humans must not learn that an Angel of the Lord could make a mistake. It was unthinkable.

Castiel waved his hand, and the light bulbs began to explode. The tremors that the humans felt grew exponentially. Castiel allowed himself a small smile, before rolling his wrist again, this time opening the double doors leading to the barn.

_He_ and the other human male started firing the man made guns. Their bullets pierced the body of Castiel's vessel, but he simply let them travel through, mending the tissue after them. The pieces of metal dropped to the ground behind Castiel, doing no more harm than a fin does to the water it ploughs. _His_ knife, that was thrust in the vessel's chest, did nothing more than ripped the fine cloth of the shirt. Castiel took a glimpse of the blade as he drew it out: it was ancient, demon made, and the mere sight of it repulsed him. His grip slipped, and the knife dropped to the floor. Nobody noticed anything strange, so Castiel masked his error by furrowing his brow infinitesimally as to chide _him_ for tainting the flesh that Castiel was commandeering.

But _he_ didn't know, didn't understand, so Castiel forgave him.

It wasn't until Castiel faded the consciousness of the older human that he noticed the whispering in his ears. He tried to ignore it, concentrating instead on the book full of white and black rituals, but it bothered him. The words were incomprehensible until Castiel laid his eyes on _him_; on Dean Winchester.

"Why'd you do it?"

Then, as clear as the day on the other side of the Globe, Castiel heard the words: _because of your perky nipples._

For a flickering part-of-a-second, Castiel was mortified. From his peripheral vision he could see that the nipples in question were not in sight, but still, he remembered them from the time he was rebuilding Dean Winchester's body. They _were_ perky, it was true, but Castiel did not believe that they were the cause of God's command. The words were the same Dean Winchester himself had uttered in that vile diner to the wretched demon whom Castiel had smote for daring to loom over his charge.

Nevertheless, the words kept dancing on his tongue, threatening to escape. Castiel licked his dry lips. He _was_ an Angel of the Lord and he _did_ have full control of his vessel's body. There was no escaping of any words; truly this was an unthinkable situation. Instead of blurting out the ridiculous reason, Castiel forced his vessel's lips to form another one. More sensible one: the true cause.

"Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you."

After fading to the background by bending the light around him, Castiel licked his lips again. His vessel was reacting rather curiously to the words still whispering in his mind, and Castiel felt the result of that curiosity puzzling. As he followed Dean Winchester to revive the older male, there was something perky there, but Castiel was not familiar enough with the humans to pinpoint the exact cause of his vessel's reactions.

Perhaps it was cold in here.

Nevertheless, after he spent some time on Earth, he could learn the true meaning of this experience. Castiel was sure that it was not the last time he would see this human. He did not need to hear the whispers to know that his destiny was tangled with him; with the special human Castiel had been fortunate to rescue from perdition.

Castiel's fate was bound with Dean Winchester.

_~o~_

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**End Notes:**

If you read it, please, review it :3


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